A Message for the Holidays

The holiday season is finally here ... a joyous time of year! The holidays present an opportunity to come together with family and friends, to share experiences of the past and dreams for the future.

For those who have experienced a traumatic event, this time of year may hardly feel joyous. Traumatic stress can cast a dark shadow over the colors of the season. Although many people will benefit from the opportunity to connect with others, far too many will feel alone.

During this holiday season, we can help victims to regain a sense of control that adversity seems to have taken away. We can help them to see that their decisions and actions can empower them to not only survive, but thrive!

Here are three suggestions. First, make an effort to notice the feelings behind others' words. Feelings are often the stuff that's hardest to talk about. Second, listen. It's not what we say that helps people the most, it's often what we don't say. Instead of being an expert in solving others' problems, help them to find the answers within themselves. And finally, let people know that it's okay not to be okay when they're living through a challenging experience.  

This holiday season, let's help people who have lived through traumatic events to harness their painful emotions, and use that energy to propel them to live with a new sense of purpose in the new year.

www.institutefortraumaticstress.org

The Power of Breathing

During a crisis, it’s not uncommon for your breathing to change, in order to help you to manage the stress of your experience. At times, your breathing may become rapid, bringing oxygen into your system to enable you to respond quickly to further danger. But this very same rapid breathing may also cause you to feel anxious, panicky and very uncomfortable.

So, what can you do? Let me share a great technique that will help you take control of your breathing so that it once again becomes a positive, rather than a negative, to your physical and emotional well-being.

First, take the phone off the hook and turn off the sound on your cell phone. Sit, or lie down, and make yourself comfortable. Close your eyes and become aware of your breathing. For the moment, don’t try to change it, just become aware of, and focus on, your breathing. Some thoughts may come into your mind and if they do, just chase them away, continuing to concentrate only on your breathing. Notice each time you inhale and each time you exhale. With each exhalation, think the word, “relax.”

Next, take a slow deep breath through your nose, hold it for a few seconds and then slowly exhale through your mouth. Do this three times. You’ll find yourself becoming more relaxed with each breath you take.

There’s a reason why people, from athletes to soon-to-be-moms, are encouraged to become aware of their breathing and to build a repertoire of breathing techniques. Learning to control your breathing can become a powerful physical and emotional force that will enable you to cope more effectively with adversity.

MarkLerner.com

"Adoption Stress" and International Adoption

Unfortunately, far too many adoptive children have faced traumatic events including, but not limited to, neglect, physical and sexual abuse and various degrees of abandonment. As an “Adoption Psychologist,” I regularly explain to adoptive parents that by having an understanding of the symptoms suggestive of traumatic exposure, we can identify children who may be experiencing traumatic stress reactions. Ultimately, by identifying symptoms early, we can address emotional, social, behavioral and educational needs. As I often say to parents, we certainly don’t wait to address physical trauma. And, in the same way, we must not wait to address traumatic stress.

How is traumatic stress manifested in adoptive children?

In the young adopted child, we see immature and regressive behaviors—behaviors that have been abandoned in the past are often observed again (e.g., thumb sucking, bed wetting, fear of the dark, loss of bladder control, speech difficulties, decreases in appetite, clinging and whining, and separation difficulties). Older children may manifest periods of sadness and crying, poor concentration, fears of personal harm, aggressive behaviors, withdrawal/social isolation, attention-seeking behavior, anxiety and fears, etc.

So, what is “Adoption Stress”? Does it refer solely to the experience of so many adoptive children?

The reality is, when we look closely at adoption, we realize that traumatic stress is pervasive - often impacting several, if not all, of the parties involved. Unfortunately, this traumatic stress, “adoption stress,” is generally not recognized and its impact is misunderstood. Consider the following….

Birth parents, who surrender a child for adoption, typically experience a great deal of stress. Oftentimes, due to their circumstance, they have little choice or control and must surrender their child for adoption.

Adoptive parents often bring to the table a history of stress. For example, pre-adoption stressors, which may include fertility problems, losses and significant relationship conflicts. There is also stress associated with the acquisition of an adoptive child. For example, there may be serious medical concerns, “misunderstandings,” and heartbreaking disappointments. Finally, post-adoption stress may center around the realization of a dream, tremendous life changes with new responsibilities, and a future marked by uncertainty and fear.

Adoption stress is manifested in the feelings, thoughts, actions, physical and spiritual reactions of all parties associated with the adoption process—by birth parents, adoptive parents and certainly, adoptive children. By understanding adoption stress and recognizing the symptoms, we can intervene early, educate and empower victims, and prevent acute difficulties from becoming chronic problems.

MarkLerner.com

The Golden Hour for Traumatic Stress

In medicine, the "Golden Hour" generally refers to the period of time, lasting from minutes to hours, following a serious physical injury. The chance of a patient surviving is greatly increased if immediate care is received during this period of time.

In the same way, there is a golden hour to address the "emotional hemorrhage" following traumatic exposure. In other words, by reaching people early with timely information and support, we can ease emotional pain, keep people functioning and mitigate ongoing suffering.

Traumatic stress refers to our feelings, thoughts, actions, and our physical and spiritual reactions when we’re exposed to, or even witness, events that overwhelm the ability to cope. 

We must not confuse traumatic stress, the normal response to an abnormal event, with Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).  PTSD, along with other psychiatric diagnoses, may apply to individuals who continue to experience debilitating symptoms that compromise the ability to function.

Rather than rushing to label people, let's focus on increasing awareness of traumatic stress, and reaching people during the golden hour, with timely information and support.


marklerner.com

How Do People Typically Respond During a Crisis?

There’s no standard or typical way in which people respond during a crisis. Some of us respond immediately, while others may experience a delayed reaction, sometimes months or even years down the road. Some individual’s reactions may last for a long period of time. For others, traumatic stress reactions are short-lived.

The reactions/responses that follow are frequently experienced during times of crisis. It’s important to recognize that these reactions do not necessarily represent an unhealthy response. Rather, they may be viewed as normal responses to an abnormal event. 

If these reactions continue to be experienced in the future and are joined by other symptoms such as recurrent distressing dreams, flashbacks, avoidance behaviors, excessive jumpiness, or panic attacks, and interfere with social, occupational or other important areas of functioning, a stress disorder may be present. Consideration should be given to consulting with a mental health professional.

Emotional Responses may include:

    • shock

    • denial

    • dissociation

    • panic

    • fear

    • aloneness

    • hopelessness

    • helplessness

    • emptiness

    • uncertainty

    • horror

    • terror

    • anger

    • hostility

    • irritability

    • sadness

    • depression

    • grief

    • guilt

Cognitive Responses to traumatic exposure are often reflected in:

    • impaired concentration

    • confusion

    • disorientation

    • difficulty in making a decision

    • a short attention span

    • suggestibility

    • vulnerability

    • forgetfulness

    • self-blame

    • blaming others

    • lowered self-esteem

    • thoughts of losing control

    • hypervigilance

    • perseverative thoughts of the traumatic event

Behavioral Responses may include:

    • withdrawal

    • “spacing-out”

    • non-communication

    • changes in speech patterns

    • regressive behaviors

    • erratic movements

    • impulsivity

    • a reluctance to abandon property

    • seemingly aimless walking or pacing

    • an inability to sit still

    • an exaggerated startle response

    • antisocial behaviors

Physiological Responses may include:

    • elevated blood pressure*

    • difficulty breathing*

    • shock symptoms*

    • chest pains*

    • cardiac palpitations*

    • rapid heart beat

    • muscle tension and pains

    • fatigue

    • sleep difficulty and disturbing dreams

    • fainting

    • flushed face

    • pale appearance

    • chills

    • cold clammy skin

    • increased sweating

    • thirst

    • dizziness

    • vertigo

    • hyperventilation

    • headaches

    • grinding of teeth

    • twitches

    • gastrointestinal upset

*These require immediate medical evaluation.

Spiritual Responses to a traumatic incident often include:

    • anger and a distancing from God

    • withdrawal from attending religious services

      or an uncharacteristic involvement in

      religious community activity

    • feelings that faith practice (e.g., prayers,

      scriptures, hymns, worship, communion) is

      empty and without meaning

    • a questioning of one’s basic beliefs and anger

      at clergy

marklerner.com