Know What “Traumatic Stress” Is and What It’s Not

When we think of stress, we generally associate it

with the potential wear and tear on our mind and

body as we adjust to daily changes and challenges in

our lives. Yet there are both negative and positive

attributes to stress. On the negative side, stress can

compromise our ability to think clearly, cause us to

feel anxious, disrupt our ability to sleep and,

ultimately, lead to physical illness. On the positive

side, stress can be a powerful force that enables us to

get things done and be more productive. Some

people describe how they work better under stress—

when they’re feeling pressured.

Some events in our lives can be so overwhelming

that we perceive a serious threat to our physical wellbeing,

or the well-being of others. We may experience intense feelings

of fear, helplessness and horror. We may feel overwhelmed,

unsafe, insecure and vulnerable. This is traumatic stress—

our feelings, thoughts, actions, and physical and spiritual

reactions when we’re exposed to, or even witness,

events that overwhelm our ability to cope.

People experience traumatic stress when they’re

exposed to a disaster or catastrophe—a plane crash,

terrorist attack, the battlefield, or an earthquake. Yet

it doesn’t have to be a highly publicized event with a

two-inch newspaper headline. People also experience

traumatic stress during the personal disasters that

color their lives: facing an illness or injury, dealing

with the tragic loss of a loved one, being physically or

sexually violated, experiencing an accident, or

living through a divorce.

Like stress, traumatic stress can also have a positive

side. It can be the force that propels people to

cultivate a mission and purpose and, ultimately,

the ability to live with a new sense of passion. By

understanding what traumatic stress is and by

knowing that it’s a normal response to an abnormal

event you’ll be empowered and in a better position

to survive and thrive.

What to Do ... Now

What you do during and in the wake of this crisis

will depend on what’s happened. Have you

experienced the loss of a loved one? Are you battling

an illness? Have you been injured? Have you been

victimized? No matter what’s happened, at times

you’re feeling overwhelmed. This is your crisis.

Try to surround yourself with special friends and loved

ones. Be there for each other and know that it’s okay

to feel. Former Prime Minister of Britain Benjamin

Disraeli once said, “Never apologize for showing

feeling. When you do so, you apologize for truth.”

As much as possible, and with the help of people

who are close to you, try to obtain facts. Knowing

what’s happened, or is happening, is generally easier

than the unknown. Depending upon the event, it

may not be possible to know the facts early on; they

may come with time.

While you’re vacillating between uncomfortable

thoughts and feelings, keep bringing yourself back

to your “thinking and problem-solving mode.” Take

care of your basic needs. Drink lots of fluids, eat

small meals, and keep yourself in a safe place.

If at any time you experience difficulty breathing,

chest pains or palpitations, or any other disturbing

physical reaction, speak with your physician or

health care provider immediately. In fact it’s a good

idea, in general, to make your doctor aware of what

you’re going through.

The answer to what you need to do now lies within

you.

Make Decisions and Take Action

So much of what happens in our lives results from

our decisions. This is often why it’s so difficult for

us when we face a tragedy. We naturally see what’s

happened as the result of our decisions. We blame

ourselves and we feel guilty. If we don’t perceive

what’s happened as the result of our decisions, we

often believe that the tragedy was the result of

someone else’s decisions/actions.

Whether we’re feeling guilty about causing the event

or feeling anger towards those we feel were in some

way responsible, the reality of our loss still exists.

Remember, whatever you decide to focus on,

whatever you choose to think about, will become

your experience. And what you think and do during

this crisis, during this peak emotional time in your life,

will stay with you forever.

Although establishing goals and making decisions

are a constructive way to use your energy, unless

you take action to reach them, goals are no different

than a colorful map that never gets used.

When is it best to act on your decisions and to work

toward achieving your goals?

There’s no simple answer. There’s no rulebook or

time line for your crisis. Some people will act

immediately or soon after a tragedy. Others will wait

to act, taking some time to heal.

Regardless of your timing, when you choose to make

a decision and take action, you’ll be consciously

making a choice and, therefore, you’ll be taking

control of your life.

Crisis and Opportunity

During and in the wake of a crisis, some people seem

to “get stuck.” They withdraw, shut down and

become reclusive—staying inside, closing off the

world around them. They begin a pattern of avoiding

people, places and things. Do you see yourself as

getting stuck?

Other people use the painful energy from their crisis

to make destructive choices. They turn to alcohol

and drugs, or become engaged in serious conflicts

with their families, friends and coworkers.

I have a passion for working with people during times

of crisis because I believe that the pool of painful

energy inside you presents enormous potential. It

can provide the fuel that propels you to make

constructive choices. It can open the door to

opportunity!

Seize this opportunity from your crisis and use your

painful emotional energy to propel you to live your

dreams!

From Victim to Survivor and Ultimately ... Thriver

A victim is someone who’s been harmed and who’s

suffering.

A survivor is someone who, despite hardship and

adversity, continues to function.

A thriver is someone who grows and flourishes.

You can move from being a victim to a survivor and

ultimately, a thriver. While it’s certainly okay not to

be okay during a crisis, you have the capacity to

ultimately grow and flourish from your experience.

You can be better than okay!

Instead of seeing yourself as a wilting rose, begin to

see yourself as a badly bruised bud that still has the

potential for a beautiful and lasting bloom.

Know What “Traumatic Stress” Is and What It’s Not

When we think of stress, we generally associate it

with the potential wear and tear on our mind and

body as we adjust to daily changes and challenges in

our lives. Yet there are both negative and positive

attributes to stress. On the negative side, stress can

compromise our ability to think clearly, cause us to

feel anxious, disrupt our ability to sleep and,

ultimately, lead to physical illness. On the positive

side, stress can be a powerful force that enables us to

get things done and be more productive. Some

people describe how they work better under stress—

when they’re feeling pressured.

Some events in our lives can be so overwhelming

that we perceive a serious threat to our physical well-

being, or the well-being of others. We may

experience intense feelings of fear, helplessness and

horror. We may feel overwhelmed, unsafe, insecure

and vulnerable. This is traumatic stress—our feelings,

thoughts, actions, and physical and spiritual

reactions when we’re exposed to, or even witness,

events that overwhelm our ability to cope.

People experience traumatic stress when they’re

exposed to a disaster or catastrophe—a plane crash,

terrorist attack, the battlefield, or an earthquake. Yet

it doesn’t have to be a highly publicized event with a

two-inch newspaper headline. People also experience

traumatic stress during the personal disasters that

color their lives: facing an illness or injury, dealing

with the tragic loss of a loved one, being physically

or sexually violated, experiencing an accident, or

living through a divorce.

Like stress, traumatic stress can also have a positive

side. It can be the force that propels people to

cultivate a mission and purpose and, ultimately,

the ability to live with a new sense of passion. By

understanding what traumatic stress is and by

knowing that it’s a normal response to an abnormal

event you’ll be empowered and in a better position

to survive and thrive.

It's OK Not To Be OK

The tragic loss of someone special in your life. An

illness or injury. A relationship problem. Divorce.

Physical or sexual abuse. A work-related crisis. An

accident. Criminal victimization. War. A disaster....

What’s happening in your life?

During a crisis, when you find yourself struggling

to function and it feels like your whole world has

changed, it’s okay not to be okay.

As human beings, we’re built to survive. We have

inborn mechanisms that help us to recover and heal

from the overwhelming challenges that we face

during our lifetime. Yet we experience so many

normal reactions during a crisis: We’re anxious and

scared. It’s difficult for us to focus and make

decisions. It’s hard to turn off the painful tape of

what’s happened. We’re excessively watchful and

cautious. We’re startled by every loud noise. We

withdraw from people. We experience headaches and

body aches. We have difficulty sleeping. We’re

disturbed by dreams. We may question our faith.

The list goes on.

Am I talking about you?

During a crisis, we experience normal reactions in

the face of an abnormal event and it’s okay not to be

okay.

www.ItsOKNotToBeOK.com